How Microdosing Reset my Addictive Patterns

“Is that the truth? That’s just a thought. Everything is fine.”

I still remember one of my first experiences with microdosing psilocybin in early 2017. I was picking up my daughter from school, and I saw a couple of younger, thinner, naturally gorgeous moms. The jealousy-tinged “I’m not good enough” mental chatter arose – and was met with that rebuttal. That rebuttal was the voice of the mushroom. That voice would go on to re-calibrate my brain for better, which continues to this day.

At just 0.10g-0.25g (100-250mg), a microdose isn’t a hugely transformative experience that has you questioning everything you thought you knew. But it is a perfect dose to go about your busy day while experiencing an elevated mental state that takes you out of your conditioned patterns of being. Some of these concepts might seem “woo woo”, and you may substitute the phrase “mushroom voice” with higher self, conscience, soul, etc.

“sober brain,” (a) vs. a brain on psilocybin (b). Note the amount of connections being made!

What I have found microdosing provides, is an increased sensitivity for habits, behaviors and thoughts that are not serving us. It varies for everyone, as using entheogens for healing is a deeply personal experience. For myself, that manifested as a vivid awareness of my self-hating, negative, and anxious thoughts – and allowed a gentle, objective awareness of them to assist with letting them go. My empathy was enhanced, making me a more attuned mother and friend. It felt much easier to connect with others, breaking out of my habitual pattern of anxious avoidance. And though this was likely due to a combination of micro and macro-doses, I became much more aware of what foods, and most importantly alcohol, did to me body and mind.

Alcohol causes chronic dehydration, inflammation, hormone disruption and blood sugar dysfunction – even at amounts of 1-2 drinks per day. Alcohol wears out nerve connections and disrupts multiple neurotransmitters causing a multitude of unwanted emotional and mental side effects. Serotonin, our happiness neurotransmitter, is greatly reduced by chronic alcohol use – as it is synthesized in the gut as well as brain, and alcohol is like an atomic bomb set off in our stomachs. It’s no secret why alcoholics only seem to be happy while they are drunk.

The mushroom gently (and at times, quite acutely) turned my awareness to these side effects. And the magical part was, I naturally lost interest in drinking regularly. The compulsion to go buy beer dissipated during the course of my microdosing. However, I must acknowledge that when I was not microdosing and being conscious of my daily actions, the desire crept back in. After years of blackout drinking in my formative years, it would take more than a month or two of microdosing to help me completely lose the desire to drink.

If you have been curious about how microdosing can help you, give it a try! It literally is safer than anything else. Just remember it is not a magic pill – it takes conscious effort and a willingness to tune in to its’ subtlety to see the benefits. Integration is also can important part of the process – be sure that you have support in processing whatever emotional material surfaces for you.

Below is a instructional video I made on how to make your own accurate microdose capsules!

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